whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize