I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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