He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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