I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
