i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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