Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
