Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
