Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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