Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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