He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
