Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
