why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
