i just google imaged poop.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
