"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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