i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
