chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
