do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
