That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
