Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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