Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
