Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
