I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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