If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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