the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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