I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
