): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
