it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
