All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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