A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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