i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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