...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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