Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
