so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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