Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
