The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
