Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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