i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize