I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
