I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize