guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
