You made me cry and you don't even care
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i believe in u and ur pee
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
