i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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