I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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