Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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