maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Sober January is a disaster.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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