I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
