is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
