I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
