Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
