did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
