he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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