Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
