Who did Billy Mays play for?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
