i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
