Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
