It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
