I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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