Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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