She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
