Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
