There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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