it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
