Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
