Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
