wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
